Wednesday, May 22, 2013

For Peter.

Firstly, I want to dedicate this post to a dear friend of mine, +Peter Licari. He was my inspiration for this post. When I read that his grandmother had passed away last night it inspired me to write something about it since it's something I've struggled with majorly, the death of loved ones. So sit back, grab some popcorn, and get personal with me if you wish.

It all started a few years back when my great grandpa died early of that year. He was someone who inspired me like none other. Although he has Alzheimer's in his later years, seeing him always made me smile. He would crack jokes and tell of his days in the army. Anyways when he died suddenly, it shook my world. I not only was depressed for a long while, but it killed me to know that such a beautiful person was taken from my life so suddenly. Without a chance to say goodbye. Anyways time went on, and I wasted those months being depressed and not talking to anybody. The only thing I enjoyed in life was listening to rock music in my room and writing. Only months later, it was Thanksgiving evening. We had some friends over, and actually had a really good time. Of course at the dinner table we went around and said things we were thankful for. It was hard for me. I was so stuck in this depression, what WAS I thankful for, I thought. Anyways, as the evening progressed, the phone kept ringing. We kept ignoring it thinking that it was a telemarketer. Boy were we wrong. At 11:00PM that evening, my dad finally picked up the phone. (It had rung about 20 times over the night.) He looked at me then, and walked into the front room. I'd never seen him look so shocked. After he was done on the phone, he came and sat down with us at the dinner table. My Uncle Dan had passed, he told us. I instantly started crying. Pain overtook me like a title wave. "HOW could this happen now?" I was finally getting over the fact that my great grandpa had passed, and now this. Just when I thought I was depressed enough, this was the cherry on top. I spent nights crying in my room wondering why God had taken such a great person from my life. He was also someone I was very close to. 

I guess what I've learned, looking back on it, is this. I wasted years being sad over this thing that had happened in my life. I missed happy moments, like being free, enjoying the sun, enjoying my families company. And I regret it 100%. I now look at life a different way. I know now, looking back on it, that I need to be with the people I love as often as I can. Embrace my time with them. Because in all honesty, you never know when it could all come to an end.

Peter, if you're reading this, know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Know that I know how you feel, and I hope you were inspired or could relate to this a little. Also make sure and check his blog out, I simply love reading it. 

http://www.debelit.com/

Stay Beautiful♥

-Mak

14 comments:

  1. Mak, the emotion and kindness and everything about this post has both brought a smile to my face and tears into my eyes. Words fail me now. They honestly do. I'm glad to have a considerate friend like you.

    I'm glad that you've been able to take the hardships you faced and come out with love and positivity. It truly is inspiring.

    Thank you.

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    1. Anytime, Peter. I was truly hoping that this would not only be relatable or helpful to you, but also let my feelings out. It's something that has been a huge hardship in my life, and when I saw you're post, I knew instantly that I wanted to dedicate a post to you. I am glad to have such an amazing friend like yourself, and I hope we'll be friends for many, many years to come. And hey, maybe we'll even get to meet someday, huh? :)

      -Mak

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  2. Peter I do not know you but I am truly sorry for your loss.. Mak your post has been an inspiration and I am thankful that you wrote it. I lost my dad 6 years ago and it is something I have fought like crazy to come out of and I have always pictured in my head that one day I would be able to feel the sun shining again in my life, and when I heard you refer to it like that it let me know that i am really not the only one that has ever faced a trail like this and there is hope and this is not something that will press down on my shoulders forever. And I know that there is many many others that will read this and feel the same too.. thanks

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    1. Wow Leslie, I am so sorry for you're loss. To lose a father..I can't imagine. I really can't. You are such a strong person for overcoming these things, and know that if you EVER need someone to talk to, I'm always around for you. I understand what you must be feeling. I am so sorry.

      -Mak

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  3. There is always hope for tomorrow. There is always a sunrise after dusk. You're not alone in this. I'm glad that Mak was able to inspire you as well. And thank you for the sentiment, Leslie. It means a lot.

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    1. That's so funny Peter, right as I posted that comment you posted one! Haha. :) And amen to that. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Very inspiring and 100% true.

      -Mak

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  4. This is so beautiful Mak. I love how compassionate you are. Oh if only everyone could have your compassion Mak! I am blown away by the love and goodness in your heart. Just wonderful to see. :)

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  5. Alana, that is so very kind of you to say. Your comment warmed my heart. You are someone that has a way with words & is more loving and good than I will ever be, I hope you know that. <3

    -Mak

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  6. Mak, this is such a touching and inspirational post. It brought tears to my eyes. I'm truly sorry for Peter's loss. I know what it is like to lose someone you love dearly. Thank you for sharing this. <3

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    1. Wow Vashti..that means so much. I am very sorry as well, and I'm truly glad that we can all come together with the same struggles, and bond and overcome that. Thank you so much for reading! :)

      -Mak

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    2. Oh, you're so welcome! I have met so many quality, talented people on Google+. I feel really blessed to have met you guys, really. Despite some of us being miles apart I can feel real friendships forming. :D

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    3. Oh my gosh, ME TOO! So crazy, I honestly didn't think I would ever meet such wonderful people though Google+, how amazing huh?

      -Mak

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  7. What a very nice dedication, I also wrote about losing a love one in my book, I can so relate when I lost my dad I ended up in a very deep depression, especially after being a (daddy's girl), as the years go by it get's a little easier but the pain never goes away. I will say one day I just decided I was tired of being depressed and I decided to live :)

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    1. Thank you Mschell! How kind of you. Wow..I am SO sorry about your loss. I honestly had no idea that so many people could relate to my story. It really inspires me. Thank you for your comment & for reading!

      -Mak

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