Firstly, I want to dedicate this post to a dear friend of mine, +Peter Licari. He was my inspiration for this post. When I read that his grandmother had passed away last night it inspired me to write something about it since it's something I've struggled with majorly, the death of loved ones. So sit back, grab some popcorn, and get personal with me if you wish.
It all started a few years back when my great grandpa died early of that year. He was someone who inspired me like none other. Although he has Alzheimer's in his later years, seeing him always made me smile. He would crack jokes and tell of his days in the army. Anyways when he died suddenly, it shook my world. I not only was depressed for a long while, but it killed me to know that such a beautiful person was taken from my life so suddenly. Without a chance to say goodbye. Anyways time went on, and I wasted those months being depressed and not talking to anybody. The only thing I enjoyed in life was listening to rock music in my room and writing. Only months later, it was Thanksgiving evening. We had some friends over, and actually had a really good time. Of course at the dinner table we went around and said things we were thankful for. It was hard for me. I was so stuck in this depression, what WAS I thankful for, I thought. Anyways, as the evening progressed, the phone kept ringing. We kept ignoring it thinking that it was a telemarketer. Boy were we wrong. At 11:00PM that evening, my dad finally picked up the phone. (It had rung about 20 times over the night.) He looked at me then, and walked into the front room. I'd never seen him look so shocked. After he was done on the phone, he came and sat down with us at the dinner table. My Uncle Dan had passed, he told us. I instantly started crying. Pain overtook me like a title wave. "HOW could this happen now?" I was finally getting over the fact that my great grandpa had passed, and now this. Just when I thought I was depressed enough, this was the cherry on top. I spent nights crying in my room wondering why God had taken such a great person from my life. He was also someone I was very close to.
I guess what I've learned, looking back on it, is this. I wasted years being sad over this thing that had happened in my life. I missed happy moments, like being free, enjoying the sun, enjoying my families company. And I regret it 100%. I now look at life a different way. I know now, looking back on it, that I need to be with the people I love as often as I can. Embrace my time with them. Because in all honesty, you never know when it could all come to an end.
Peter, if you're reading this, know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Know that I know how you feel, and I hope you were inspired or could relate to this a little. Also make sure and check his blog out, I simply love reading it.